QT for a Big Family

I polled my Facebook friends tonight to find out what is important to busy moms. The response was outstanding. I got so much insight from so many wonderful woman. So, I'm going to use that insight to fuel my posts.

The following topics was posed by one of my longtime friends. 

How to make equal time with each child of different ages? I have a 7 year old a3 year old and 7 month old. ~ Fawn

So, Fawn, I definitely know where you are coming from. I have 4 kids of my own ( if this confuses some of you I'll explain later). I have experienced challenges of my own with ensuring everyone gets the time they need and long for. Let me preface this by saying their is no one size fits all recipe for giving everyone the time they deserve, but there are somethings that should help in any case. 

Spend One-on-One Time

Up until recently I believed that hanging out with all of your children together all the time was the best option. But because of feedback from my children and other moms, I've changed my tune (slightly). 

You see this past spring I went to Washington, DC with Brianna (11). It was such a wonderful bonding experience. She's truly a different child when she's not around her siblings. It was important for me to see that side of her and for her to experience me without her brothers presence. Additionally, her brothers were excitedly awaiting their alone time with mom. 

Double Dip

One way that I tackle QT when time is short is to roll it into another individualized task. In our household nightly reading is a perfect time for QT. Now, I  know reading time can sound something like " Go in your room and read for 20 minutes"... 20 minutes later... "Did you read?" "Yes" "What'd you read about" "I dunno." Trust me, I've been there. One of the great things about becoming an educator is that I've gotten some excellent parenting advice along the way. 

Moms it's important for us to listen to our children read for so many reasons. For one thing, it shows them that reading time is important to is. Second, it shows them that they are important enough for us to stop what we are doing and listen solely to them. Third, you can help with reading fluency and comprehension. OK... OK... I know I was just up on my teacher soap box. I'm off. Now, QT with a big family fits right into this whole reading thing. You see, you can spend time with your oldest reading to you while the others nap or play. You can read to your 3 year old while the your 7 year old reads to the baby. And the same goes for the 3 month old. You don't have to have this alone reading time with everyone every day, so mix it up. As long as everyone is listening to or reading to someone, it's a win. 

Special Days

I've recently talked to moms that say they have a special outing or trip with each child at predetermined increments. Granted, this one is new for me. I usually just make it happen as opportunity strikes... i.e the boys are on a play date, let's go. But I can see the merit to planning it out and making a big deal of it. In this case, everyone knows they will get their time, so no one feels slighted when you return. Plus, you can really play the event up so they know exactly how special they are to you. 

Use Your Resources

Now, maybe you can't afford to make it an event everytime. It's ok. Stolen moments are just as valuable. Take advantage of sleep overs when the other siblings are away. Ask a relative to entertain siblings while you and the oldest grab a snack or prepare a meal. Sign her up for Girl Scouts and while she's meeting take the others to the playground. Flip flop at times and leave the others with a friend or sitter while you help with the meeting. Those moments matter. I know because my children tell me. 

Spend Time By Any Means Necessary 

My dear mother had 7 kids. The 5 boys were very close together with my sister and I lagging behind. And let me tell you. She did an awesome job. You know, there wasn't all of this research out there on how to do this and how to do that. There was no YouTube, Facebook, ask.com, or google. Still she did it. She spent time. Maybe not to much 1 on 1, but time none the less. And at the end of the day I can say we are all great people.